Meet Esther

Before we took on a personal topic, we decided to consult an expert. Make that the expert.

Esther Perel, renowned international relationship expert, has shifted the paradigm about love, sex and commitment in modern relationships. During her 30-year therapy practice she has worked with thousands of couples around the world and also serves on the faculty of The International Trauma Studies Program and The Ackerman Institute for the Family.

She is the author of the international bestseller, Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, now translated into 26 languages, and forthcoming book, The State of Affairs, due out fall 2017. And her critically acclaimed viral TED Talk, “The secret to desire in a long-term relationship” (February 2013), has over 9 million views. We’re honored she shared her time with us!

more questions?

  • I’m a single parent. How does this help me?

    If you’re raising a little one on your own, making time for yourself is even more important! At Plum, we say parenting takes a team (not just a partner), so find some teammates who can help you out while you enjoy a little alone time. Prioritizing yourself and your happiness is one of the best things you can do for your family. A night out, a good book, an old hobby… you do you. You deserve it!

  • I had a baby this year. What if sex is off my radar?

    First, let us say we get it. We totally get it. And now, the good news: This isn’t just about sex! It’s about a little QT, some alone time, and maybe some foot massage or spooning action. Start by finding some time for you and your partner to just be adults together. As Esther says, hang out without being productive.

  • What if my partner isn’t really on board?

    That’s a tough spot, but don’t feel defeated just yet. You know how they say actions speak louder than words? Well, we encourage you to take the pledge and start finding ways to prioritize your relationship and your partner. Hopefully, your other half will get the message— loud and clear!

  • Ok, we’re ready! Any advice before we get started?

    Yes! And thank you for asking! Before we started this movement, we consulted with Esther Perel, a leading expert on love and sex. Check out her expert advice page for the lowdown on building better relationships. We’d even suggest you forgo your favorite show tonight and watch some of her videos with your partner instead.

More from Esther
Esther Perel Ted Talk: The Secret to Desire in a Long-Term Relationship
TED Talk: The secret to desire in a long-term relationship
Esther argues good and committed sex draws on two conflicting needs: our need for security and our need for novelty. So how do you sustain desire?
Child eating in height-chair
When Three Threatens Two
Think being a parent and being a lover don’t mix? Let Esther prove you wrong and offer a few tips along the way.
Esther Perel’s international best-selling book, Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
Real Parents. Real Stats.
Esther’s international best-selling book, Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence, offers incredible advice on keeping the love (and lust) alive at home.
Parents having a conversation
Get Talking
Esther encourages all parents to just get talking. Here are four questions to get the conversation going with your partner.